You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
