I think my vagina is haunted
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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