So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
