YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Life is so much better after having sex.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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