so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
third nipple confirmed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
