so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
