The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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