That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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