First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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