this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's like iHOP with fire
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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