# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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