Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sober January is a disaster.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
