I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize