and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize