Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
