Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
