You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
a search helicopter?!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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