i would punch a child for taco bell
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
