They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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