I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
