So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
