It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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