i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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