i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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