Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize