K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
