Duck Duck Cougar?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
