my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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