Me too!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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