forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
