So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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