He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
