i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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