I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
