I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
