On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
