he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
