Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
