Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
