In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
There's even glitter on my cock...
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