I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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