If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
