Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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