Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
