dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize