why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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