dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
either way he was missing a nipple.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize