so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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