will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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