kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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