Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
