That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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