Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
