whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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