Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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