why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
