next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
