dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
