Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
