we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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