The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i now understand why vodka
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
