WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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