My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
