I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize