Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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