good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
